Approximately two weeks ago while finding my new home, my parents and I decided to stop for lunch at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. We discussed my options and which complexes we preferred. After making a decision, we got the check and our fortune cookies.
My fortune was this (and I’m paraphrasing, of course): Laughing is like jogging for your insides, which basically means you never have to go outside again to exercise.
Now, call me crazy, but I could be totally down with that fortune.
Fast forward to today. My dear mom has arrived to keep me from pulling my hair out while trying to pack. (Bless her, seriously.) So we decided to get Chinese delivered. (This is a luxury that she does not have in my small hometown and could be a luxury I’ll no longer have. Do Chinese places in Raleigh deliver?!)
We eat our meals and move on to our cookies. What does my fortune say?
I’m not sure why my camera couldn’t focus, but it says: IGNORE PREVIOUS COOKIE.
That’s right: IGNORE PREVIOUS COOKIE.
First, what kind of awful fortune is that? Two, it’s like a blaring red message that basically says laughter will not carry you through life. Start working out, fatty.
Touche, fortune cookie, touche.
It’s hard to imagine that this time next week I’ll be back in North Carolina. Suddenly everything seems rushed, and I’m getting a little nervous. Is moving back to NC the right choice? Am I crazy to leave NYC behind? Will I ever see my friends here again? Will I make new ones down there?
When I really think about it though, I know this is the right choice for me. And I know it’s easy to get cold feet when I’m just hanging out having fun in the city instead of schlepping back and forth to work for 9ish-hour five days a week. Who wouldn’t enjoy it? But this can’t last. I’ll need to find a job sooner or later to pay for all the fun I’m having now. (Or a rich husband… just saying.) And I believe that I’ll be happier down South where the sun shines longer and hotter.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t things I won’t miss about the city. I’ll miss my friends and days like today (which included a boozy brunch, window shopping and fro-yo). I’ll miss having my food delivered (which is a very lazy habit I’ve developed, but there is nowhere else in the United States that delivers basically anything you want. Did you know my regular sushi joint is literally right around the corner from me? Pure blissful laziness.) I’ll miss the variety of cuisines available in the city. I’ll miss never having to worry about drinking and driving. I’ll miss Broadway shows, ballets and operas. And I’ll miss the buzz of the city that sometimes catches me when I’m walking down the street and makes me smile.
It’s tough closing this chapter since it was a dream for so long. It took a long time for me to understand that I wasn’t a failure, that what I thought I wanted wasn’t what I wanted at all. And sometimes those thoughts still surface.
BUT…on January 2, I committed to the decision to leave instead of complaining about how miserable I was and wavering back and forth about when it’d be the “right time.” And I’m so glad I did because now I can just move forward. The sense of not knowing what’s coming next is still scary, but also kind of exciting. Not to get all cliche on you all, but… “Today is where your book begins, The rest is still unwritten.”
Posted in Moving, NYC
Tagged Moving, NYC
First, a moment of silence.
If you didn’t know, I’m an alumna of the wonderful University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a true blue Tar Heel. Last night we suffered a tough loss against our rival, dook.
Don’t know much about college basketball rivalries? Well… it’s as big as the Yankees vs. the Red Sox, Pepsi vs. Coca-Cola, Apple vs. Microsoft. Get the picture?
In other news, I packed FOUR boxes today (and it hardly seems like I made a dent). This past weekend I went to North Carolina and found my new home! It’s a decent-sized 1-bedroom apartment with a WALK-IN CLOSET, a BALCONY and a room for my WASHER AND DRYER. Can you tell I’m a little excited? I don’t have pictures since I didn’t see my actual unit, but hopefully I will soon.
The move date is basically set, but I’m meeting with my movers on Saturday to confirm. But… I’m definitely down to my last few weeks in the Big Apple. CCCCRRRRAAAAZZZYYYY.
So it’s been a little over two weeks into my unemployment, and I’ve already slipped back into my night owl tendencies.
Granted, a latte and an entire pot of tea after 3pm probably never helps. But… I didn’t drift off to sleep until somewhere between 2 and 3am that night and I haven’t been faring much better since then.
My bedfellow had no such trouble nor did he mind stealing over half my pillow.
Sure, you’re probably thinking, what does it matter? You’re not working. And there is a part of me that totally agrees.
There is also the other responsible part of me that knows no good will come of this. Waking up at noon is not acceptable. So to put an end to those troubles, I’d decided to invoke my old Lent rule–no electronics after 11pm.
Ideally that will go as follows: I’ll turn off the TV and laptop (and stop staring at my phone) and crawl into bed. Then maybe I’ll read for a bit and drift off to sleep. (Though I’ve been known to read until the wee hours of the night.)
I’ve also decided to give up soda for Lent. I’m still debating on whether I feel confident enough to be prepared to have a blog post every day.
Did you give anything up for Lent?
Posted in Lent, Pets, Sleep
Tagged Lent, pets, Sleep
Aside from the bad news, my birthday celebrations went well.
Lunch at Tao was very tasty. It started with Satay of Chicken with Peanut Sauce, followed with Sesame Seared Tuna Salad and ended with a DIVINE TASTING Mango Sorbet covered in coconut milk and seasonal fruit. I would post photos, but uh… I was too busy eating it to stop and take photos.
The next day I had dinner with my friends Bee and Trish at 2 West at the Ritz Carlton. I started with a Roasted Beet & Blue Cheese Salad, followed by Petit Filet Mignon (with roasted fingerling potatoes, sauteed spinach and a pinot noir sauce), then ended with a thick butter cookie topped with raspberry and lime curd. Again… no photos. One day I’ll remember I need photos for my blog.)
Then Friday, I did the whole bar thing. But first, per birthday tradition, I went to Bark–my all-time favorite place in NYC. This year I took Brooke. (I also had Bark on my actual birthday. Did I mention it’s my favorite place?) After Bark, we headed out to Home Sweet Home, where I met up with plenty of friends.
Now… many may disagree with me here, but I find birthdays (my birthdays specifically) to be incredibly awkward. I have friends from various circles and bringing them together is always tough. I try to make plenty of rounds to each little group, but I’m always worried someone isn’t having a good time. This makes it a hard time for me to have a good time, too.
Overall, I think the night went well though. The bar played lots of 50s and 60s music, and we danced. I hope everyone had a good time!
Now that my birthweek is over, I’ve been planning my visit to Raleigh at the end of this week. I’ve narrowed my apartment search to about 5 different complexes. Things are getting real! More on that later though…
There really is no easy way to talk about loss.
My parents called midday yesterday to tell me that our dog Bella had to be put to sleep. We knew the time would eventually come since she was 14 years old, but that still never really prepares you for when it actually happens. It just really sucks–especially since we lost our other dog Bruno in September.
Bella always had something to say. She was definitely one talkative pup.
I know losing a pet isn’t the same thing as losing a spouse, but I recently read a book called Saturday Night Widows by Becky Aikman that has given me a new perspective on grief. It’s about six young widows (mostly in their 40s) who defy the traditional stereotypes of widowhood and try to move forward with their lives. The most important lesson I got out of the story is that it’s ok to smile and laugh again.
In fact, the research on the five stages of grief was actually done on people who were dying. New research on grief shows that the five stages may actually be a bunch of hooey.
So I’m trying to stay positive about Bella and think about how she can run, jump and bark to her heart’s content. Plus, she’s with her buddy Bruno.
RIP Bella. I love you.
Posted in Books, loss, Pets
Tagged books, loss, pets